[Internal-cg] Latest version: Combined proposal v6-MI and Exec summary rev-1-MI

[Alissa Cooper]

I started some edits while on an airplane flight. Do not have time to finish but wanted to send them now in case other folks are editing.

Totally agree with Manal’s suggestion to include the combined diagram. I think it will help a lot.

Alissa

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On Jul 26, 2015, at 5:59 AM, Jennifer Chung <jen at icgsec.asia> wrote:

> Dear Kavouss and All,
> 
> The latest version of the combined proposal is actually v6-MI attached.  I
> have also attached the latest version of the text of the executive summary
> as well (rev-1-MI) for your review.
> 
> All the latest versions of all documents for the public comment period
> launch can also be found in this Dropbox folder: http://icgsec.asia/1OfxHW2
> 
> Please let me know if you have any questions.
> 
> Best Regards,
> 
> Jennifer
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Kavouss Arasteh [mailto:kavouss.arasteh at gmail.com] 
> Sent: Saturday, July 25, 2015 11:14 PM
> To: Jennifer Chung <jen at icgsec.asia>
> Cc: Manal Ismail <manal at tra.gov.eg>; Lynn St.Amour <lynn at lstamour.org>;
> <internal-cg at ianacg.org> <internal-cg at ianacg.org>
> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5
> 
> Dear Jennifer
> As I informed Manal ,
> I have just landed in Seoul Hilton millennium room 1110 Pls send me the
> latest version of Combined proposal as I have some comments on Version 5
> release two days ago
> Kavouss       
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>> On 24 Jul 2015, at 12:55, Jennifer Chung <jen at icgsec.asia> wrote:
>> 
>> Hi All,
>> 
>> Attached and linked is v5-MI-LSA-PW-JC.  Dropbox link:
>> http://icgsec.asia/1JiezqA . This includes Paul's latest edits as well 
>> as the requests from Manal below:
>> 
>> "maybe secretariat could kindly assist in inserting the suggested
>> link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the ICG assessed the 
>> proposals, individually and collectively) and graph (showing the % of 
>> IANA transactions (for 2014) per area) .."
>> 
>> Two points relating to Manal/Lynn's request:
>> 1. I have linked to the published ICG proposal finalization process 
>> https://www.icann.org/en/system/files/files/iana-transition-assembly-f
>> inaliz ation-24dec14-en.pdf.  We have not published the individual 
>> assessment word template (http://icgsec.asia/1el3lEA) on the ICG web 
>> site - I can do so if we want to link to this in the ICG report.
>> 
>> 2. The data for the chart inserted was taken from pg. 53 of the IANA 
>> presentation linked here:
>> https://singapore52.icann.org/en/schedule/wed-iana/presentation-iana-d
>> epartm ent-11feb15-en.pdf. Lynn/Manal/all, please let me know if this 
>> is that is envisaged.
>> 
>> Lastly please note that the paragraph numbering is not correct in this
> file.
>> Once all the edits for the ICG report are in, the Secretariat will 
>> merge the ICG report back into the correctly numbered v5.
>> 
>> As always, the latest versions of all the public comment related 
>> documents for your review is in this Dropbox folder: 
>> http://icgsec.asia/1OfxHW2
>> 
>> Please let me know if you have any questions.
>> 
>> Best Regards,
>> 
>> Jennifer
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Internal-cg [mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org] On Behalf Of 
>> Manal Ismail
>> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 9:07 PM
>> To: Lynn St.Amour <lynn at lstamour.org>; internal-cg at ianacg.org
>> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - 
>> v5
>> 
>> Many thanks Lynn for the suggested edits and for your comments ..
>> Following your email, I would also urge colleagues to review and 
>> provide feedback by Friday in order to meet our public comment period
> dates ..
>> 
>> Meanwhile, for the sake of time, maybe the secretariat could kindly 
>> assist in inserting the suggested link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria 
>> against which the ICG assessed the proposals, individually and 
>> collectively) and graph (showing the % of IANA transactions (for 2014) per
> area) ..
>> 
>> I also believe we need to conclude on the order of the proposals .. 
>> Although it is not a substantial change it would still require a 
>> thorough review and several edits throughout the document (ICG report, 
>> sections' headers, ...) ..
>> 
>> I had a few questions throughout the report and hope colleagues would 
>> review and provide further guidance ..
>> 
>> Finally, some parts of the text (highlighted in blue to my best) 
>> reflect the current status of the accountability proposal (ongoing 
>> discussions) which won't be the case (accountability proposal 
>> finalized and put out for public comments too) by the time the 
>> combined transition proposal is out for public comment .. Should such 
>> parts be changed to reflect the status of the accountability proposal at
> the time of the public comment period?
>> 
>> Looking forward to receiving your input/feedback/suggestions/comments ..
>> 
>> Kind Regards
>> --Manal
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Internal-cg [mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org] On Behalf Of 
>> Lynn St.Amour
>> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 6:54 PM
>> To: internal-cg at ianacg.org
>> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - 
>> v5
>> 
>> Again, thanks much Manal,
>> 
>> To-date, I reviewed this through the ICG report section (only), and 
>> made some edits to try and convey why the report was combined in this 
>> way.  I would appreciate it if folks could review it carefully, as I 
>> believe it is a critical point (and sensitive).  And, some of it may 
>> be better suited to the Exec. Summary.
>> 
>> Joe, I believe you had volunteered to send some draft text re the Exec.
>> summary.  If this is correct, can I do anything to help?  If I have it 
>> wrong, I will look up the minutes (can't do that just now though, 
>> unfortunately).
>> 
>> And, could those individuals who have been participating in the CWG - 
>> Stewardship and the CCWG efforts, please review the appropriate 
>> sections to ensure they reflect the latest positions?
>> 
>> Finally, we should aim to have  all comments on this and the public 
>> web-site no later than this Friday, so that we can review the "very near
> final"
>> drafts of this on Monday, in order to meet our public comment period 
>> timetable of July 31st.
>> 
>> Many thanks,
>> 
>> Lynn
>> 
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