[Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5

Fri Jul 24 17:10:48 UTC 2015

Dear All,
I am currently fully involved in CCWG activities to end releasing the
Second Proposal for public comment .
I attend several call per day and fully represent ICG in order that all
issue relating  to CWG Inan Stewardship be correctly addressed
There are some pending issues yet to n be finalized in order that ICG
proposal be sufficientléy clear .
I am travelling to Seoul ,South Korea from 25 July to 03 August
My mobile phone is not operational during this period
As soon as I arrived in Hilton South Korea I will inform Jennifer of the
number to be dialed during this period
Regards
Kavouss

2015-07-24 18:43 GMT+02:00 Lynn St.Amour <Lynn at lstamour.org>:

> Thanks again Joe,
>
> after a quick read, I think this is quite good.  It pulls some of the text
> from the ICG review section (and it fits well here), so we may need to edit
> that section a bit.  I will review again later and attempt to add some
> closing text per your request.
>
> Also hope to see some other reviewers as well.
>
> Best,
>
> Lynn
>
>
> On Jul 24, 2015, at 9:29 AM, joseph alhadeff <joseph.alhadeff at oracle.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Colleagues:
> >
> > I attach a proposed executive summary.  I have drafted a slightly longer
> stand alone version of the summary sourced from the document.  It
> summarizes process and conclusions. We may wish to add a closing section as
> it seems to end abruptly?
> >
> > Happy for any thoughts.
> >
> > Jennifer, I'm running out to a meeting, could you post the draft
> executive summary to drop box?
> >
> > I also attach a first and incomplete draft of what had been a more
> summarized version, but think that the short version may be best suited to
> public material or a cover note.  I attach it to see if any language could
> be useful elsewhere...
> >
> > Joe
> >
> > On 7/23/2015 11:55 PM, Jennifer Chung wrote:
> >> Hi All,
> >>
> >> Attached and linked is v5-MI-LSA-PW-JC.  Dropbox link:
> >>
> >> http://icgsec.asia/1JiezqA
> >>  . This includes Paul's latest edits as well as
> >> the requests from Manal below:
> >>
> >> "maybe secretariat could kindly assist in inserting the suggested
> >> link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the ICG assessed the
> proposals,
> >> individually and collectively) and graph (showing the % of IANA
> transactions
> >> (for 2014) per area) .."
> >>
> >> Two points relating to Manal/Lynn's request:
> >> 1. I have linked to the published ICG proposal finalization process
> >>
> >>
> https://www.icann.org/en/system/files/files/iana-transition-assembly-finaliz
> >>
> >> ation-24dec14-en.pdf.  We have not published the individual assessment
> word
> >> template (
> >> http://icgsec.asia/1el3lEA
> >> ) on the ICG web site - I can do so if
> >> we want to link to this in the ICG report.
> >>
> >> 2. The data for the chart inserted was taken from pg. 53 of the IANA
> >> presentation linked here:
> >>
> >>
> https://singapore52.icann.org/en/schedule/wed-iana/presentation-iana-departm
> >>
> >> ent-11feb15-en.pdf. Lynn/Manal/all, please let me know if this is that
> is
> >> envisaged.
> >>
> >> Lastly please note that the paragraph numbering is not correct in this
> file.
> >> Once all the edits for the ICG report are in, the Secretariat will
> merge the
> >> ICG report back into the correctly numbered v5.
> >>
> >> As always, the latest versions of all the public comment related
> documents
> >> for your review is in this Dropbox folder:
> >> http://icgsec.asia/1OfxHW2
> >>
> >>
> >> Please let me know if you have any questions.
> >>
> >> Best Regards,
> >>
> >> Jennifer
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: Internal-cg [
> >> mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org
> >> ] On Behalf Of Manal
> >> Ismail
> >> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 9:07 PM
> >> To: Lynn St.Amour
> >> <lynn at lstamour.org>; internal-cg at ianacg.org
> >>
> >> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5
> >>
> >> Many thanks Lynn for the suggested edits and for your comments ..
> >> Following your email, I would also urge colleagues to review and provide
> >> feedback by Friday in order to meet our public comment period dates ..
> >>
> >> Meanwhile, for the sake of time, maybe the secretariat could kindly
> assist
> >> in inserting the suggested link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which
> the
> >> ICG assessed the proposals, individually and collectively) and graph
> >> (showing the % of IANA transactions (for 2014) per area) ..
> >>
> >> I also believe we need to conclude on the order of the proposals ..
> Although
> >> it is not a substantial change it would still require a thorough review
> and
> >> several edits throughout the document (ICG report, sections' headers,
> ...)
> >> ..
> >>
> >> I had a few questions throughout the report and hope colleagues would
> review
> >> and provide further guidance ..
> >>
> >> Finally, some parts of the text (highlighted in blue to my best)
> reflect the
> >> current status of the accountability proposal (ongoing discussions)
> which
> >> won't be the case (accountability proposal finalized and put out for
> public
> >> comments too) by the time the combined transition proposal is out for
> public
> >> comment .. Should such parts be changed to reflect the status of the
> >> accountability proposal at the time of the public comment period?
> >>
> >> Looking forward to receiving your input/feedback/suggestions/comments ..
> >>
> >> Kind Regards
> >> --Manal
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: Internal-cg [
> >> mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org
> >> ] On Behalf Of Lynn
> >> St.Amour
> >> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 6:54 PM
> >> To:
> >> internal-cg at ianacg.org
> >>
> >> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5
> >>
> >> Again, thanks much Manal,
> >>
> >> To-date, I reviewed this through the ICG report section (only), and made
> >> some edits to try and convey why the report was combined in this way.  I
> >> would appreciate it if folks could review it carefully, as I believe it
> is a
> >> critical point (and sensitive).  And, some of it may be better suited
> to the
> >> Exec. Summary.
> >>
> >> Joe, I believe you had volunteered to send some draft text re the Exec.
> >> summary.  If this is correct, can I do anything to help?  If I have it
> >> wrong, I will look up the minutes (can't do that just now though,
> >> unfortunately).
> >>
> >> And, could those individuals who have been participating in the CWG -
> >> Stewardship and the CCWG efforts, please review the appropriate
> sections to
> >> ensure they reflect the latest positions?
> >>
> >> Finally, we should aim to have  all comments on this and the public
> web-site
> >> no later than this Friday, so that we can review the "very near final"
> >> drafts of this on Monday, in order to meet our public comment period
> >> timetable of July 31st.
> >>
> >> Many thanks,
> >>
> >> Lynn
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
> >> Internal-cg mailing list
> >>
> >> Internal-cg at mm.ianacg.org
> >> http://mm.ianacg.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg_ianacg.org
> >>
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
> >> Internal-cg mailing list
> >>
> >> Internal-cg at mm.ianacg.org
> >> http://mm.ianacg.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg_ianacg.org
> >
> > <Exec summary rev1.doc><cover letter - Executive Summary.doc>
>
>
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