[Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5

Fri Jul 24 16:43:59 UTC 2015

Thanks again Joe, 

after a quick read, I think this is quite good.  It pulls some of the text from the ICG review section (and it fits well here), so we may need to edit that section a bit.  I will review again later and attempt to add some closing text per your request.

Also hope to see some other reviewers as well.

Best,

Lynn

On Jul 24, 2015, at 9:29 AM, joseph alhadeff <joseph.alhadeff at oracle.com> wrote:

> Colleagues:
> 
> I attach a proposed executive summary.  I have drafted a slightly longer stand alone version of the summary sourced from the document.  It summarizes process and conclusions. We may wish to add a closing section as it seems to end abruptly?
> 
> Happy for any thoughts.
> 
> Jennifer, I'm running out to a meeting, could you post the draft executive summary to drop box?
> 
> I also attach a first and incomplete draft of what had been a more summarized version, but think that the short version may be best suited to public material or a cover note.  I attach it to see if any language could be useful elsewhere...
> 
> Joe
> 
> On 7/23/2015 11:55 PM, Jennifer Chung wrote:
>> Hi All,
>> 
>> Attached and linked is v5-MI-LSA-PW-JC.  Dropbox link:
>> 
>> http://icgsec.asia/1JiezqA
>>  . This includes Paul's latest edits as well as
>> the requests from Manal below:
>> 
>> "maybe secretariat could kindly assist in inserting the suggested
>> link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the ICG assessed the proposals,
>> individually and collectively) and graph (showing the % of IANA transactions
>> (for 2014) per area) .."
>> 
>> Two points relating to Manal/Lynn's request:
>> 1. I have linked to the published ICG proposal finalization process
>> 
>> https://www.icann.org/en/system/files/files/iana-transition-assembly-finaliz
>> 
>> ation-24dec14-en.pdf.  We have not published the individual assessment word
>> template (
>> http://icgsec.asia/1el3lEA
>> ) on the ICG web site - I can do so if
>> we want to link to this in the ICG report.
>> 
>> 2. The data for the chart inserted was taken from pg. 53 of the IANA
>> presentation linked here:
>> 
>> https://singapore52.icann.org/en/schedule/wed-iana/presentation-iana-departm
>> 
>> ent-11feb15-en.pdf. Lynn/Manal/all, please let me know if this is that is
>> envisaged.
>> 
>> Lastly please note that the paragraph numbering is not correct in this file.
>> Once all the edits for the ICG report are in, the Secretariat will merge the
>> ICG report back into the correctly numbered v5.
>> 
>> As always, the latest versions of all the public comment related documents
>> for your review is in this Dropbox folder: 
>> http://icgsec.asia/1OfxHW2
>>  
>> 
>> Please let me know if you have any questions.
>> 
>> Best Regards,
>> 
>> Jennifer
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Internal-cg [
>> mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org
>> ] On Behalf Of Manal
>> Ismail
>> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 9:07 PM
>> To: Lynn St.Amour 
>> <lynn at lstamour.org>; internal-cg at ianacg.org
>> 
>> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5
>> 
>> Many thanks Lynn for the suggested edits and for your comments ..
>> Following your email, I would also urge colleagues to review and provide
>> feedback by Friday in order to meet our public comment period dates .. 
>> 
>> Meanwhile, for the sake of time, maybe the secretariat could kindly assist
>> in inserting the suggested link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the
>> ICG assessed the proposals, individually and collectively) and graph
>> (showing the % of IANA transactions (for 2014) per area) ..
>> 
>> I also believe we need to conclude on the order of the proposals .. Although
>> it is not a substantial change it would still require a thorough review and
>> several edits throughout the document (ICG report, sections' headers, ...)
>> ..
>> 
>> I had a few questions throughout the report and hope colleagues would review
>> and provide further guidance ..
>> 
>> Finally, some parts of the text (highlighted in blue to my best) reflect the
>> current status of the accountability proposal (ongoing discussions) which
>> won't be the case (accountability proposal finalized and put out for public
>> comments too) by the time the combined transition proposal is out for public
>> comment .. Should such parts be changed to reflect the status of the
>> accountability proposal at the time of the public comment period?
>> 
>> Looking forward to receiving your input/feedback/suggestions/comments ..
>> 
>> Kind Regards
>> --Manal
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Internal-cg [
>> mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org
>> ] On Behalf Of Lynn
>> St.Amour
>> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 6:54 PM
>> To: 
>> internal-cg at ianacg.org
>> 
>> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5
>> 
>> Again, thanks much Manal,
>> 
>> To-date, I reviewed this through the ICG report section (only), and made
>> some edits to try and convey why the report was combined in this way.  I
>> would appreciate it if folks could review it carefully, as I believe it is a
>> critical point (and sensitive).  And, some of it may be better suited to the
>> Exec. Summary.  
>> 
>> Joe, I believe you had volunteered to send some draft text re the Exec.
>> summary.  If this is correct, can I do anything to help?  If I have it
>> wrong, I will look up the minutes (can't do that just now though,
>> unfortunately).
>> 
>> And, could those individuals who have been participating in the CWG -
>> Stewardship and the CCWG efforts, please review the appropriate sections to
>> ensure they reflect the latest positions?
>> 
>> Finally, we should aim to have  all comments on this and the public web-site
>> no later than this Friday, so that we can review the "very near final"
>> drafts of this on Monday, in order to meet our public comment period
>> timetable of July 31st.
>> 
>> Many thanks,
>> 
>> Lynn
>> 
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> 
> <Exec summary rev1.doc><cover letter - Executive Summary.doc>