[Internal-cg] Executive summary files for your review [was RE: Latest version of the combined proposal - v5]

Mary Uduma mnuduma at yahoo.com
Mon Jul 27 06:11:18 UTC 2015


Jennifer and All,
I wrote comments direct at the dropbox regarding the Executive summary. Pardon me if I did it wrongly.Below are my comments and I hope it can still be taken into consideration.
"The ICG has concluded that the names proposal is complete on the condition that the...................., are concluded"
I am still struggling with this assertion  of conclusion by the ICG as there are some incomplete/outstanding issues in the names proposal.viz 
The CCWG work stream 1 ongoing process mentioned in the section 
The CP-! issue Vs the Framework of Interpretation, RFC 1591 on ccTLDThe placehold regarding the iana.org issue, 
The incomplete SLE, etc
Except I omitted some communications within the ICG, I feel the proposal is not complete without resolutions of these issues.I did suggest or asked if the paragraph could be reworded to "noting" instead of "concluded" since the ICG would still have to make a determination on the completeness of the names proposal after the CCWG work S1 is accepted by the names community. ("At that point the ICG will make a final determination as to whether it considers the names proposal to be complete")However, if the ICG had concluded that the proposal is complete inspite of the oustandings, the WS1 of the CCWG, kindly clarify.  
My second comment was on the workability section.Does the ICG not consider the layers of revews in the names proposal and those of the other two proposals a workability issue? I do see workability issue here and would request  that this question be included in the matrix of questions. 
"How will the layers or multiple reviews in the names proposal and those in the other two communities' proposals inpact on IFO's service delivery?
Mary Uduma

     On Friday, July 24, 2015 3:56 PM, Jennifer Chung <jen at icgsec.asia> wrote:
   

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Sent: Friday, July 24, 2015 9:30 AM
To: Jennifer Chung <jen at icgsec.asia>; 'Manal Ismail' <manal at tra.gov.eg>; 'Lynn St.Amour' <lynn at lstamour.org>; internal-cg at ianacg.org
Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5  Colleagues:

I attach a proposed executive summary.  I have drafted a slightly longer stand alone version of the summary sourced from the document.  It summarizes process and conclusions. We may wish to add a closing section as it seems to end abruptly?

Happy for any thoughts.

Jennifer, I'm running out to a meeting, could you post the draft executive summary to drop box?

I also attach a first and incomplete draft of what had been a more summarized version, but think that the short version may be best suited to public material or a cover note.  I attach it to see if any language could be useful elsewhere...

JoeOn 7/23/2015 11:55 PM, Jennifer Chung wrote:
Hi All,  Attached and linked is v5-MI-LSA-PW-JC.  Dropbox link:http://icgsec.asia/1JiezqA . This includes Paul's latest edits as well asthe requests from Manal below:  "maybe secretariat could kindly assist in inserting the suggestedlink(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the ICG assessed the proposals,individually and collectively) and graph (showing the % of IANA transactions(for 2014) per area) .."  Two points relating to Manal/Lynn's request:1. I have linked to the published ICG proposal finalization processhttps://www.icann.org/en/system/files/files/iana-transition-assembly-finalization-24dec14-en.pdf.  We have not published the individual assessment wordtemplate (http://icgsec.asia/1el3lEA) on the ICG web site - I can do so ifwe want to link to this in the ICG report.  2. The data for the chart inserted was taken from pg. 53 of the IANApresentation linked here:https://singapore52.icann.org/en/schedule/wed-iana/presentation-iana-department-11feb15-en.pdf. Lynn/Manal/all, please let me know if this is that isenvisaged.  Lastly please note that the paragraph numbering is not correct in this file.Once all the edits for the ICG report are in, the Secretariat will merge theICG report back into the correctly numbered v5.  As always, the latest versions of all the public comment related documentsfor your review is in this Dropbox folder: http://icgsec.asia/1OfxHW2   Please let me know if you have any questions.  Best Regards,  Jennifer      -----Original Message-----From: Internal-cg [mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org] On Behalf Of ManalIsmailSent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 9:07 PMTo: Lynn St.Amour <lynn at lstamour.org>; internal-cg at ianacg.orgSubject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5  Many thanks Lynn for the suggested edits and for your comments ..Following your email, I would also urge colleagues to review and providefeedback by Friday in order to meet our public comment period dates ..   Meanwhile, for the sake of time, maybe the secretariat could kindly assistin inserting the suggested link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which theICG assessed the proposals, individually and collectively) and graph(showing the % of IANA transactions (for 2014) per area) ..  I also believe we need to conclude on the order of the proposals .. Althoughit is not a substantial change it would still require a thorough review andseveral edits throughout the document (ICG report, sections' headers, ...)..  I had a few questions throughout the report and hope colleagues would reviewand provide further guidance ..  Finally, some parts of the text (highlighted in blue to my best) reflect thecurrent status of the accountability proposal (ongoing discussions) whichwon't be the case (accountability proposal finalized and put out for publiccomments too) by the time the combined transition proposal is out for publiccomment .. Should such parts be changed to reflect the status of theaccountability proposal at the time of the public comment period?  Looking forward to receiving your input/feedback/suggestions/comments ..  Kind Regards--Manal  -----Original Message-----From: Internal-cg [mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org] On Behalf Of LynnSt.AmourSent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 6:54 PMTo: internal-cg at ianacg.orgSubject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5  Again, thanks much Manal,  To-date, I reviewed this through the ICG report section (only), and madesome edits to try and convey why the report was combined in this way.  Iwould appreciate it if folks could review it carefully, as I believe it is acritical point (and sensitive).  And, some of it may be better suited to theExec. Summary.    Joe, I believe you had volunteered to send some draft text re the Exec.summary.  If this is correct, can I do anything to help?  If I have itwrong, I will look up the minutes (can't do that just now though,unfortunately).  And, could those individuals who have been participating in the CWG -Stewardship and the CCWG efforts, please review the appropriate sections toensure they reflect the latest positions?  Finally, we should aim to have  all comments on this and the public web-siteno later than this Friday, so that we can review the "very near final"drafts of this on Monday, in order to meet our public comment periodtimetable of July 31st.  Many thanks,  Lynn  _______________________________________________Internal-cg mailing listInternal-cg at mm.ianacg.orghttp://mm.ianacg.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg_ianacg.org


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