[Internal-cg] Executive summary files for your review [was RE: Latest version of the combined proposal - v5]

Fri Jul 24 14:55:56 UTC 2015

Hi Joe and All,

Both attachments from Joe are available for review in this Dropbox folder
(which also contains all the latest versions of everything you need to
review for the upcoming public comment period).

Dropbox folder link: http://icgsec.asia/1OfxHW2

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Best Regards,

Jennifer

From: joseph alhadeff [mailto:joseph.alhadeff at oracle.com] 
Sent: Friday, July 24, 2015 9:30 AM
To: Jennifer Chung <jen at icgsec.asia>; 'Manal Ismail' <manal at tra.gov.eg>;
'Lynn St.Amour' <lynn at lstamour.org>; internal-cg at ianacg.org
Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5

Colleagues:

I attach a proposed executive summary.  I have drafted a slightly longer
stand alone version of the summary sourced from the document.  It summarizes
process and conclusions. We may wish to add a closing section as it seems to
end abruptly?

Happy for any thoughts.

Jennifer, I'm running out to a meeting, could you post the draft executive
summary to drop box?

I also attach a first and incomplete draft of what had been a more
summarized version, but think that the short version may be best suited to
public material or a cover note.  I attach it to see if any language could
be useful elsewhere...

Joe

On 7/23/2015 11:55 PM, Jennifer Chung wrote:

Hi All,

Attached and linked is v5-MI-LSA-PW-JC.  Dropbox link:
http://icgsec.asia/1JiezqA . This includes Paul's latest edits as well as
the requests from Manal below:

"maybe secretariat could kindly assist in inserting the suggested
link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the ICG assessed the proposals,
individually and collectively) and graph (showing the % of IANA transactions
(for 2014) per area) .."

Two points relating to Manal/Lynn's request:
1. I have linked to the published ICG proposal finalization process
https://www.icann.org/en/system/files/files/iana-transition-assembly-finaliz
ation-24dec14-en.pdf.  We have not published the individual assessment word
template (http://icgsec.asia/1el3lEA) on the ICG web site - I can do so if
we want to link to this in the ICG report.

2. The data for the chart inserted was taken from pg. 53 of the IANA
presentation linked here:
https://singapore52.icann.org/en/schedule/wed-iana/presentation-iana-departm
ent-11feb15-en.pdf. Lynn/Manal/all, please let me know if this is that is
envisaged.

Lastly please note that the paragraph numbering is not correct in this file.
Once all the edits for the ICG report are in, the Secretariat will merge the
ICG report back into the correctly numbered v5.

As always, the latest versions of all the public comment related documents
for your review is in this Dropbox folder: http://icgsec.asia/1OfxHW2 

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Best Regards,

Jennifer

-----Original Message-----
From: Internal-cg [mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org] On Behalf Of Manal
Ismail
Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 9:07 PM
To: Lynn St.Amour  <mailto:lynn at lstamour.org> <lynn at lstamour.org>;
internal-cg at ianacg.org <mailto:internal-cg at ianacg.org> 
Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5

Many thanks Lynn for the suggested edits and for your comments ..
Following your email, I would also urge colleagues to review and provide
feedback by Friday in order to meet our public comment period dates .. 

Meanwhile, for the sake of time, maybe the secretariat could kindly assist
in inserting the suggested link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the
ICG assessed the proposals, individually and collectively) and graph
(showing the % of IANA transactions (for 2014) per area) ..

I also believe we need to conclude on the order of the proposals .. Although
it is not a substantial change it would still require a thorough review and
several edits throughout the document (ICG report, sections' headers, ...)
..

I had a few questions throughout the report and hope colleagues would review
and provide further guidance ..

Finally, some parts of the text (highlighted in blue to my best) reflect the
current status of the accountability proposal (ongoing discussions) which
won't be the case (accountability proposal finalized and put out for public
comments too) by the time the combined transition proposal is out for public
comment .. Should such parts be changed to reflect the status of the
accountability proposal at the time of the public comment period?

Looking forward to receiving your input/feedback/suggestions/comments ..

Kind Regards
--Manal

-----Original Message-----
From: Internal-cg [mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org] On Behalf Of Lynn
St.Amour
Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 6:54 PM
To: internal-cg at ianacg.org <mailto:internal-cg at ianacg.org> 
Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5

Again, thanks much Manal,

To-date, I reviewed this through the ICG report section (only), and made
some edits to try and convey why the report was combined in this way.  I
would appreciate it if folks could review it carefully, as I believe it is a
critical point (and sensitive).  And, some of it may be better suited to the
Exec. Summary.  

Joe, I believe you had volunteered to send some draft text re the Exec.
summary.  If this is correct, can I do anything to help?  If I have it
wrong, I will look up the minutes (can't do that just now though,
unfortunately).

And, could those individuals who have been participating in the CWG -
Stewardship and the CCWG efforts, please review the appropriate sections to
ensure they reflect the latest positions?

Finally, we should aim to have  all comments on this and the public web-site
no later than this Friday, so that we can review the "very near final"
drafts of this on Monday, in order to meet our public comment period
timetable of July 31st.

Many thanks,

Lynn

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