[Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5

joseph alhadeff joseph.alhadeff at oracle.com
Fri Jul 24 13:29:49 UTC 2015


Colleagues:

I attach a proposed executive summary.  I have drafted a slightly longer 
stand alone version of the summary sourced from the document.  It 
summarizes process and conclusions. We may wish to add a closing section 
as it seems to end abruptly?

Happy for any thoughts.

Jennifer, I'm running out to a meeting, could you post the draft 
executive summary to drop box?

I also attach a first and incomplete draft of what had been a more 
summarized version, but think that the short version may be best suited 
to public material or a cover note.  I attach it to see if any language 
could be useful elsewhere...

Joe

On 7/23/2015 11:55 PM, Jennifer Chung wrote:
> Hi All,
>
> Attached and linked is v5-MI-LSA-PW-JC.  Dropbox link:
> http://icgsec.asia/1JiezqA . This includes Paul's latest edits as well as
> the requests from Manal below:
>
> "maybe secretariat could kindly assist in inserting the suggested
> link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the ICG assessed the proposals,
> individually and collectively) and graph (showing the % of IANA transactions
> (for 2014) per area) .."
>
> Two points relating to Manal/Lynn's request:
> 1. I have linked to the published ICG proposal finalization process
> https://www.icann.org/en/system/files/files/iana-transition-assembly-finaliz
> ation-24dec14-en.pdf.  We have not published the individual assessment word
> template (http://icgsec.asia/1el3lEA) on the ICG web site - I can do so if
> we want to link to this in the ICG report.
>
> 2. The data for the chart inserted was taken from pg. 53 of the IANA
> presentation linked here:
> https://singapore52.icann.org/en/schedule/wed-iana/presentation-iana-departm
> ent-11feb15-en.pdf. Lynn/Manal/all, please let me know if this is that is
> envisaged.
>
> Lastly please note that the paragraph numbering is not correct in this file.
> Once all the edits for the ICG report are in, the Secretariat will merge the
> ICG report back into the correctly numbered v5.
>
> As always, the latest versions of all the public comment related documents
> for your review is in this Dropbox folder: http://icgsec.asia/1OfxHW2
>
> Please let me know if you have any questions.
>
> Best Regards,
>
> Jennifer
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Internal-cg [mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org] On Behalf Of Manal
> Ismail
> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 9:07 PM
> To: Lynn St.Amour <lynn at lstamour.org>; internal-cg at ianacg.org
> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5
>
> Many thanks Lynn for the suggested edits and for your comments ..
> Following your email, I would also urge colleagues to review and provide
> feedback by Friday in order to meet our public comment period dates ..
>
> Meanwhile, for the sake of time, maybe the secretariat could kindly assist
> in inserting the suggested link(s)/footnote(s) (criteria against which the
> ICG assessed the proposals, individually and collectively) and graph
> (showing the % of IANA transactions (for 2014) per area) ..
>
> I also believe we need to conclude on the order of the proposals .. Although
> it is not a substantial change it would still require a thorough review and
> several edits throughout the document (ICG report, sections' headers, ...)
> ..
>
> I had a few questions throughout the report and hope colleagues would review
> and provide further guidance ..
>
> Finally, some parts of the text (highlighted in blue to my best) reflect the
> current status of the accountability proposal (ongoing discussions) which
> won't be the case (accountability proposal finalized and put out for public
> comments too) by the time the combined transition proposal is out for public
> comment .. Should such parts be changed to reflect the status of the
> accountability proposal at the time of the public comment period?
>
> Looking forward to receiving your input/feedback/suggestions/comments ..
>
> Kind Regards
> --Manal
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Internal-cg [mailto:internal-cg-bounces at ianacg.org] On Behalf Of Lynn
> St.Amour
> Sent: Thursday, July 23, 2015 6:54 PM
> To: internal-cg at ianacg.org
> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Latest version of the combined proposal - v5
>
> Again, thanks much Manal,
>
> To-date, I reviewed this through the ICG report section (only), and made
> some edits to try and convey why the report was combined in this way.  I
> would appreciate it if folks could review it carefully, as I believe it is a
> critical point (and sensitive).  And, some of it may be better suited to the
> Exec. Summary.
>
> Joe, I believe you had volunteered to send some draft text re the Exec.
> summary.  If this is correct, can I do anything to help?  If I have it
> wrong, I will look up the minutes (can't do that just now though,
> unfortunately).
>
> And, could those individuals who have been participating in the CWG -
> Stewardship and the CCWG efforts, please review the appropriate sections to
> ensure they reflect the latest positions?
>
> Finally, we should aim to have  all comments on this and the public web-site
> no later than this Friday, so that we can review the "very near final"
> drafts of this on Monday, in order to meet our public comment period
> timetable of July 31st.
>
> Many thanks,
>
> Lynn
>
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